"In the mid-Seventies, I was working as a projectionist for this crummy movie theatre in downtown LA. The owner owed me six weeks back wages and when I ask him for the money, the scumbag has the gall to inform me that I'm getting laid off Christmas week.

If he'd known my reputation for mischief, he might have thought twice about it.

On my last day of work, I had to project a Christmas matinee for kids. Before the main feature, I added an unannounced opener to the program called "Satan Claus". I fled the theatre right after my film ended but I heard the owner had to refund the entire box office. Even then, several outraged parents filed a lawsuit against the theatre.

Merry Christmas, you cheap bastard!"

- J.X. Williams